While LGBT families are becoming far more open in today’s society, with legal protections and acknowledgement, there are still a lot of hurdles to be faced. One of the most common issues that we hear about with LGBT families is that their friends and relatives are still questioning their lifestyle, the health of their family and children, and whether their marriages are legitimate. Today, we’re going to look at some of the questions and topics you may be dealing with from your loved ones.

Understanding What Sexual Orientation Means in Your Life

Many people are still very confused by LGBT families because they think it is a choice or an issue of discord between yourself and members of the opposite sex. It is important for your loved ones to know that your sexual orientation is a natural attraction rather than a response to trauma, resentment, or any other factor in your life. You are not someone who needs to be fixed because you identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender. There are four parts of your sexuality, as defined by the American Psychological Association. These are: 1) Your biological sex, determined by the organs you are born with; 2) Your gender identity, referring to your psychological identity as male or female; 3) Your social sex role, as determined by your tendency to adhere to cultural norms; and 4) Your sexual orientation, in terms of who you are attracted to. There are many who will argue whether the fourth factor is determined by your genetics or your upbringing and early childhood experiences. Yet, the truth is that this is not really the point. Your sexual orientation may be shaped by biological factors, psychological factors, and/or social factors, and you may be entirely different from someone else who identifies as you do. In the end, what matters is that you are happy with your life.

Are the Children of LGBT Families in Greenville, South Carolina, More Likely to Be Abused?

For many LGBT parents, this is the most insulting question that their loved ones can ask them. Yet, it is a question that is often asked. Far too many people assume that those who identify as LGBT are sexual predators. In many cases your friends and family may not think this of you, but they may think that it is the case with the person you love. It is important to note here that sexual orientation is not related to perversion. There have been studies and extensive research into the topic, and those who do abuse children identify as heterosexual in the vast majority of abuse cases. There is absolutely no evidence to suggest that LGBT parents are more likely to abuse their children or have their children abused by others. If you have people asking you this kind of insulting question, remember that they have been misinformed and misguided by those who preach intolerance and ask them to learn the facts.

Are Kids in Greenville, South Carolina, LGBT Families More Likely to Be Bullied in School?

This question is more understandable, as everyone is aware of the likelihood of children being bullied in school for a variety of reasons, including having a different family background than their peers. This has been true for children of single parent homes, for children without parents, and for children with LGBT parents. Having said that, all children are at risk of being bullied in school for a vast array of perceived differences. They can be bullied for wearing glasses, for being short, for being tall, for wearing a different style of clothes, for liking different books or music. The important thing is to ensure that all children are taught to stand up to bullying and not let others harm their psychological wellbeing. For most children in LGBT families, they are actually going to get more support at home and be more comfortable coming to their parents with any challenges they may face.

For example, imagine a heterosexual family scenario in which a boy who is small for his age is bullied at school. Yet, in this case, the boy doesn’t feel comfortable talking to his parents about the bullying. He may feel that they will blame him for lacking in sports talent or for failing to live up to their expectations. This is just an example, but it is likely one that you’ve seen before or at least similar to something you’ve witnessed. To compare this to a child from an LGBT family, the child is far more likely to feel comfortable talking to his parents about bullying, because there’s a good chance that they started the conversation. When parents let their kids know what is right, what is wrong, and when to talk to an adult, they are less likely to be severely harmed by bullying behavior. LGBT families know what it is to be bullied. Many of these parents have experienced discrimination and hate in their own lives and they are prepared to deal with any challenges that may arise by talking about it and taking action where necessary.

Will a Child in a Greenville, South Carolina, LGBT Family Grow Up to Also Identify as LGBT?

It is not impossible for a child who is raised by LGBT parents to grow up to also identify as LGBT. However, it is not any more likely to happen than it would in a heterosexual family. Studies and research have shown that kids are not more or less likely to identify as LGBT as adult when raised in an LGBT family. If it does happen, it is only because anyone can grow up to identify as LGBT, regardless of their family background. However, the child is going to know that they have the support and love of their family, no matter what sexual orientation they have as an adult.

Are You Facing Legal Challenges in Your Greenville, South Carolina, LGBT Family?

Another important thing to be aware of is that LGBT families are just as at risk for marital problems, custody problems, and other legal problems as heterosexual couples. They also often face the challenge of adopting a child or completing a step parent adoption. If you need an understanding LGBT family attorney in Greenville, South Carolina, contact Greenville Family Law to schedule a consultation and find out how we can help.

Not all states recognize common law marriage, but South Carolina is among the ones that still do. Now that laws have changed concerning LGBT marriages and relationships, the same factors that apply to straight couples in common law marriages apply to LGBT couples as well. Yet, many people are not clear on how it all works. Some think that all you have to do is live together for a certain amount of time. Others may decide, on separating, that theirs was a common law marriage and request a divorce, while the other party denies that the relationship was ever the equivalent of a marriage. Today, we’ll discuss what constitutes a common law marriage, and what you can do if you want to be recognized as a married couple without going through any kind of ceremony or getting a marriage license.

Why Might A Couple Decide to Recognize their Relationship as a Common Law Marriage?

Not everyone places a lot of significance on ceremonies or can afford to have one. In the case of LGBT couples, there may have been a marriage ceremony years ago, back when it was not possible to be legally married, but which held the same emotional significance as if it had been a legal union. Yet, not everyone feels the need to request permission to be in a martial union with a marriage license and an official ceremony. This does not mean that those couples don’t view themselves as married and don’t deserve to be recognized as a married couple for various reasons.

For example, when you are recognized as a married couple, you can benefit from your spouse’s insurance policy, inherit their assets if they pass away, and have a number of legal rights that you would not otherwise have. You are also protected in the event of a separation, by being entitled to get a legal divorce which fairly divides assets and addresses child custody and support concerns.

How Can You Prove that Your Relationship is a Common Law Marriage in Greenville, South Carolina?

In most common law marriages, both parties agree that they are a married couple, though they may still need to prove it for various reasons. In other cases, the issue of being a married couple by common law could come up only when the couple decides to separate, and it may need to be proven by the spouse who insists that it was a common law marriage when the other denies it.

To prove that your relationship constitutes a common law marriage in Greenville, South Carolina, you must show that you have acted and presented yourselves as a married couple to your family and friends. You must also show that both parties are legally allowed to be married to each other, so that neither can be married to anyone else, be too young to marry, or be closely related to their partner.  You must also prove that you have lived together, though there is no legal requirement for how long you have lived together. Having said that, cohabitating for a couple of months will not be taken as seriously as a cohabitation that lasted for several years. It is important to understand that the courts are going to look into the unique circumstances of your relationship if they must make a decision concerning whether or not your relationship is to be recognized as common law marriage.

Other ways to prove that you are in a common law marriage include records of filing your taxes as married filing jointly, sharing the same last name (which you may do with a name change), having joint checking and savings accounts, purchasing property or a home together, and evidence of contracts that you have entered into jointly. If you are in a common law marriage, then you must get divorced when you separate or you will not be able to fairly divide property or remarry in the future.

How Can You Legally Change Your Name in a Common Law Marriage in Greenville, South Carolina?

One thing that helps to establish that you are in a common law marriage in Greenville, South Carolina, is sharing the same last name. Fortunately, it is possible to legally change your name without actually having to go through with a legal marriage ceremony and process. Marriage is one way that you can get your last name changed, as is divorce, depending on your circumstances, but you can also change your last name by petitioning the court, updating your social security card, and using your new name.

If you are attempting to change your name outside of an official marriage or divorce process, you will do so by petitioning the court with the appropriate forms. This will start with the original petition for a change of name, in which you explain your reasoning for doing so. You will then have to have a criminal background check, though you will not necessarily be denied your petition for having a criminal record. You simply need to disclose any criminal convictions that you may have up front. Then, you will need to provide any documents that relate to child support, alimony, or other such financial obligations. Next, you’ll sign a sworn affidavit, which indicates that you are being honest and upfront about all information. Finally, you will go in front of a judge to get your name change approved or denied.

As long as there is no good reason to deny your name change, such as fraudulent or illegal motives, and as long as you are open and honest about all information, you should be able to get your last name legally changed without too much trouble. This will result in an official order to change your name, which you can then use to update your ID, drivers’ license, social security card, insurance policies, and everything else that your name is on. You will take this order to the Social Security Office and the DMV, and get the appropriate forms to make the changes you wish to make.

From there, you will start using your new name in everything that you do. You need to be consistent about this so that you are not later accused of changing your name for fraudulent or illegal purposes. You should update your name with all friends and family, social media, email, credit cards, your employer, your bank, and everything else in your life that your name is attached to.

To learn more about changing your last name or proving a common law marriage, whether you are in a straight or LGBT relationship, contact a determined Greenville, SC family law attorney at Robert Clark at Greenville Family Law for a consultation.

The times have changed, and it is no longer considered unacceptable by most of society for LGBT couples to raise children. Of course, not everyone is on board with the idea, but more and more adoption agencies are working with LGBT couples to find loving homes for children and build happy families. In fact, more than 80% of all public adoption agencies have placed at least one child with gay and lesbian families.  Roughly 1/3 of all agencies (including private agencies) still reject LGBT applicants due to their religious beliefs or policies.

Do You Have Questions Concerning LGBT Adoption?

If you have considered adopting a child, then you probably have a lot of questions about how to start the process, the challenges associated with the process, and how long it’s going to take. You or your family might also have questions about the likelihood of your future adopted child experiencing problems associated with adoption or being raised in an LGBT family. Today, we’ll answer the most common questions that we hear about the LGBT adoption process as well as some of the questions that you family might be asking.

How Can LGBT Couples Prepare for the Adoption Process?

Like any other couple, you’ll need to give adoption a lot of thought before committing to it and beginning the process. Think about how long you’ve been with your partner and your level of dedication to the relationship. Be aware that the process can take a long time and it can be frustrating, overwhelming, and challenging for anyone. You also need to keep in mind that it takes time to develop a bond with your adopted child, and there will be hurdles along the way.  Make sure that you are emotionally and mentally prepared for the unexpected.

What Does it Take for an LGBT Couple to Become Licensed to Adopt a Child?

The process of becoming licensed to adopt as an LGBT couple is no different than it is for heterosexual couples. There are multiple steps, which include attending interviews, filling out plenty of paperwork, and completing questionnaires. You will likely have to take some classes and you will have a home visit. The home visit or home study involves a social worker visiting your home, providing information, and collecting information. There is also likely to be a home visit from a worker from the adoption agency you’re working with. The requirements will vary based on the agency, but most will request personal references and documents, like birth certificates, criminal checks, etc.

What are the State Laws Concerning LGBT Adoption in South Carolina?

Every state has its own laws concerning LGBT adoptions. In South Carolina, a single LGBT parent can legally petition for a license to adopt a child. Same sex parents are also allowed to petition jointly for a license to adopt a child. Further, there is so specific law prohibiting an LGBT partner from petitioning to adopt a child in a step parent adoption.

How Long Does it Take to Get Through the Adoption Process?

These days, LGBT families do not usually end up dealing with a longer process than straight parents. LGBT adoptions have gained acceptance and support for many people, and more and more birthparents are making the proactive choice to place their children with LGBT couples. Even so, the process can be lengthy, and patience will be required.

There may be a requirement to take pre-adoption courses, there will be a home study, and it takes time to match any couple with an adopted child. The two primary phases of adoption are the pre-placement phase and the post-placement phase. The pre-placement phase is where the home study and necessary classes take place. There is a waiting period that will vary based on different factors. For example, with special needs children, the process doesn’t take as long. For infants, the process can take two to seven years. The post-placement period involves at least six months of supervision prior to finalizing the adoption.

Throughout this time, you can work on preparing your home and your family for the adoption. You may find that certain family members have questions (and you may even have concerns) about the wellbeing and challenges of raising an adopted child in an LGBT home.

Do Adopted Children in LGBT Homes Experience More Problems?

The big question on many people’s minds is whether or not an adopted child in an LGBT home is going to experience more problems than any other child, adopted or otherwise. Adoption itself comes with challenges, but no more in an LGBT adoption than any other.

Although plenty of people still want to suggest otherwise, there is no actual evidence that there is any impairment of parenting abilities or childhood mental and emotional wellness concerns associated with LGBT families. The number one factor in any adoption, regardless of sexual orientation, is the couple’s ability to provide a healthy and happy home.

Children from LGBT families are found to be just as intelligent, just as popular, and just as self-confident as children from straight families. Further, there is no indication that a child’s gender identity or sexual orientation is affected by that of their parents. The likelihood of a child raised in an LGBT family of being homosexual or transgendered is no greater than the likelihood of the same being true of a child from a heterosexual family. Gender identity, sexual orientation, and role-behavior develops similarly in all children from all backgrounds.

A common concern is whether or not other children will mistreat or reject a child because of their family background. The answer to this is that it is absolutely possible that the child will face adversity for this reason or any other. The child may also face adversity for their appearance, their academic or sports performance, their style and interests, or any number of things. This is certainly no reason to change your mind about adoption. In fact, as an LGBT parent, you have likely faced prejudice and discrimination, and you could be just the person to teach a growing child how to overcome adversity, whatever the cause.

To learn more about LGBT adoption and how South Carolina law applies to your family goals, contact a determined LGBT family law lawyer at Greenville Family Law for a consultation.

When it comes to LGBT families, the laws can be complex and difficult to navigate, especially because there isn’t a lot of precedence to work from. However, if you look at it from an emotional standpoint, a practical standpoint, and a perspective that is focused on the wellbeing of the child or children, then things really aren’t all that different between separated LGBT families and separated heterosexual families. In both cases, the best possible scenario is for the parents to reach a fair and sustainable agreement concerning custody and co-parenting.

How To Reach Agreements Concerning Custody and Co-Parenting

Everyone needs help and resources when it comes to sorting out complex and uncomfortable family issues where there are likely to be passionate disagreements and challenges. This is where it helps to seek out family counseling or a mediator to facilitate compromise, positive interaction, and healthy parent-child and co-parent relationships. If a custody dispute makes it as far as a courtroom, it will have to pass through mediation to get there.

If it does make it to court, things are in a bad way, already. This means that mediation was unsuccessful, and the parents are likely dealing with a lot of contentious feelings that impact the children and their relationships with both parents. So, it is worthwhile to consider the various issues, such as legal custody, physical custody, and visitation and support, with the help of a professional therapist and/or mediator. You can also learn more by contacting an LGBT family law attorney from Greenville Family Law.

When Both Parents are Legal Parents of a Child in an LGBT Family

Children who are born into a marriage are the legal child of both parents. As are children who were born into civil unions and registered domestic partnerships, based on the state laws where the child was born. Any children who have been adopted through a step-parent or second parent adoption are also legally the children of both parents.

A child who is jointly adopted by both parents is also legally the child of both parents. In all of these cases, the custody issues and disputes will be resolved in the same way that they would be for separated or divorced heterosexual couples.

When Just One Parent is the Legal Parent of a Child in an LGBT Family

It is very common in LGBT families for just one parent to be the legal parent. This can happen when one parent came into the relationship with a child and/or when one parent is the biological parent of a child born into a relationship that is not a marriage, and the other is not. It is important, for this reason, for non-biological parents in an LGBT family to obtain legal parental rights through step-parent or second parent adoption. If you are a parent without any legal parental rights, then you have little ground to stand on in custody and visitation. You also won’t have to pay child support, but most parents would rather pay support than have to accept a life without the presence of the children that they love.

If you are the only legal parent of a child, then it is up to you to make sure that your child still has the benefit of a loving and positive relationship with their other parent. It does not take legal paperwork to forge an emotional bond, and even though you may not want to maintain a co-parenting relationship with an ex partner, it is likely to be in the best interests of the child. Of course, there are cases where a legal parent might believe that it is not in the child’s best interests to maintain such a relationship. It is wise to evaluate your true motivations and beliefs about the parent-child relationship and be sure that your decisions take the child’s best interests into account. In many LGBT relationships, the only reason that one parent doesn’t have legal rights is because the couple never married or no adoption was carried out. This should not be the only reason that your child loses the opportunity to maintain a positive relationship.

It is also important to talk to the child or children about what they want, and how they feel about their other parent. If the child does not perceive your ex partner as a parent, then things may be entirely different. If the person is truly toxic or abusive, then you may actually be correct to decide to completely remove the person from you and your children’s lives. If the relationship was positive, supportive, and included a family bond, then that is not something you want to break. Your child may grow to resent you for doing so if you do, and he or she may end up dealing with the emotional impact of separation long into adulthood.

The Laws that Apply to Heterosexual Couples Should Apply to LGBT Families

Many parents in LGBT homes who have separated feel that they have no legal options if the child is not their biological child. However, it is important to remember that the same laws that would address your situation in a heterosexual family should apply to your case, too. You should find out what the laws are concerning non-legal parents and whether or not there is any path through the appellate court. Such steps can be extremely challenging, involving intense scrutiny, and may not be successful; but depending on your circumstances, it may be the best option.

Ultimately, the best case scenario is one in which both parents come together to make mutual decisions and compromises for the best interests of the child. You should make every effort to maintain a positive relationship with your co-parent, to protect your parent-child relationship, and to ensure that your child has the proper support and emotional commitment. Separating from a partner should not require you to separate from your child.

Contact an experienced South Carolina LGBT family law attorney at the Greenville Family Law to learn more about your options and how South Carolina family law applies to your child custody, visitation, and support issues.